I was working today. I know. Famous sketchy words right. I should change the name of the blog to: "My Work Place Is Sketchy (And So Is Yours)". Except not really.
Anyways. I was standing at the entrance podium being gracious and hostly, when an old woman walks past me to use the restroom. She's classically elderly, white, permed hair, yellow grandma shirt, grandma shoes, grandma voice. (I apologize for my lack of adjectives but there isn't really any other way to describe her). So she goes in, five minutes later she comes out, and I'm standing with my back to her facing the door. And I hear her say "Tight squeeze". A statement I assume is referring to the lack of space outside of the bathroom. (You know what the say about assuming...). I am a little bit confused for approximately two milliseconds, because she is the only person back there. There should be plenty of room, she shouldn't be "tight squeezing" anything! But my confusion is put to rest and everything makes sense when.... She squeezes my left butt cheek.
What. What just happened. At first I thought it was an accident. Like an accidental boob graze or something. Nope. That was a three-finger minimum butt squeeze there. My suspicions were confirmed after I turned to look at her and she's cackling. Like a witch or something. Proud of her achievement.
No worries Grandma, it's real.
Oh my goodness.
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