Hooves.

Yesterday at work, this guy was telling me about his knowledge of hooves. He said that he read a book once and the protagonist was especially infatuated by goat hooves, so now he knows a lot about them. He said, I looked like I would appreciate some hoof knowledge. So he told me everything he knew. It took 14 minutes.

Chelsea Clinton Jokes Are Stupid.

The other night, I was working the register. And this guy comes up to me with a single can of beer, pays for it in dimes, sees my name, and says,
"Oh, Chelsea, I'm sorry to hear about your mother's death." And I said,
"Well thanks, but my mother didn't die." And then he said something, that was probably the punchline of the joke he was trying to tell, but I couldn't hear because it was drowned out by an infant screaming. And then he laughed a creepy Santa laugh and said,
"Ouch, that's a bad joke! But you look like her! You must be related!" Alas, I hadn't heard the joke in the first place so I said,
"Yowzers! Yeah...psh...what a terrible joke!" And tried to look convincingly disgusted, even though I was really, very confused. And then he said something about Hilary Clinton, opened his beer, and left, so I assume it was a derogatory Chelsea Clinton joke that I happened to be the butt of...

Also, on a side note: I feel like everyone needs to begin to realize that just because two people have the same first name, it does not make them related. In any way.

Also, on another, side-side note: I don't look like Chelsea Clinton.